she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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