His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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