Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
