I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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