thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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