Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
