he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
