there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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