I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
