This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
