i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
