I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
