Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
