found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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