My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
