I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
