If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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