even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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