But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
