Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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