She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
