It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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