my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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