so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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