3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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