don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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