Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
