He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
