I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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