Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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