Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
