He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
