put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
