come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
