just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
