You can't motorboat a personality
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
