fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
