are you still at the devil's house?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
