we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
