hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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