I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
