So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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