Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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