you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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