My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
