Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
