it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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