so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
