dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
