and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
