Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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