It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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