my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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