I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
