Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i was born a porn star she said
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
