Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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