His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
