Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
