That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
