I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
