I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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