apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
