he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
