but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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