I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
