She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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