its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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