why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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