I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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