you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
