just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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