just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
