Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize