What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
