Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
