I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize