She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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