i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
