you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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