did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
