Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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