I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
