I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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