I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
