I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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