Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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